I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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