yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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