His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
