we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
