If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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