ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
