3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I would fuck him just for his dog
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
