just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
