At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
