This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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