Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
