Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the condom got lost in my hair
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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