Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
