I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
