yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
