I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
