The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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