So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
