she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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