ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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