WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
