Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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