If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
