I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She said her name was "party"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You smell like stripper and shame
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
