Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
