Small penises have feelings too.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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