I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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