Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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