ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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