It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
