I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He told me they were just razor bumps!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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