I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
