i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
