I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
