what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
