A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
