What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
