even my farts smell like vagina
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
