Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
