I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
