Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
