it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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