the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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