You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
