my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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