You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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