your thong is hanging out like whoa
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just google imaged poop.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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