make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
