i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
