office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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